Husband & Wife – Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month after I die I want you to marry Samy.” “Samy! But he is your enemy !” “Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer now.”

Husband & Wife – Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

Husband & Wife – Why?
” Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man’s arms. ” Why, Dad ? Tell me why!” Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”

Husband & Wife – Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.” “Why complain?” said the counselor. “You’re still getting the same service!”

Husband & Wife – Talk About Husband
One woman told another : “My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?”

Husband & Wife – Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?” “I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”

Husband & Wife – No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.” One of his friends asked.”And when you are angry, what do you do?” The man replied, “I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife – Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. “Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him. “Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?” The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.”

Husband & Wife – Problem Father
“You looked troubled,” I told my friend, “what’s your problem?” He replied, “I’m going to be a father.” “But that’s wonderful,” I said. “What’s wonderful? My wife doesn’t know about it yet.

“If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology

over the past few decades,

“ boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8,

and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour.

Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and

gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case,

the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.”

“Sure,” says the GM chairman.

“But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?”

One of Microsoft’s finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp.

At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle,

and bullets. He fired several shots at the target.

The report came from the target area that all attempts had

completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at

his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again,

and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the

rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward

the target area: It’s leaving here just fine.

The trouble must be at your end!

99 little bugs in the code,

99 bugs in the code,

Fix one bug, compile it again,

101 little bugs in the code.

101 little bugs in the code,

101 bugs in the code,

Fix one bug,

compile it again,

103 little bugs in the code.